SO THIS IS YOUR LIFE?

Once upon a time there was this happy little guy, playing the game of life without too much trouble, finding his way the best he could and mostly ending up on top.

But for some strange reason he began to think that everything was too easy for him; nothing that really challenged him. He started thinking it might be more interesting to create a new game . . . one with more obstacles and challenges, a game that would really put him to the test and see what he was made of.

No matter that this new game routinely killed off anyone else who threw their hat in that ring – this incautious rush of succeeding at something in which others routinely fail had the intensity and thrill he craved. So he jumped into the new arena ignoring the sober cautions from others with more experience and maturity.

This new “game” might be generally described as follows:

THE GAME: Trying to become successful as a performing artist, in a fiercely competitive, cut-throat environment, on the world stage as a trumpeter; and to do this with both hands tied behind his back as a consequence of living the life of a “first-rate addict,” at the same time – and all without killing himself (at least not quickly) in the process.

THE RISKS: And just to make it more interesting, one of the penalties of losing in the game – if the “players” in this “game” didn’t actually wake up dead in the gutter some morning – was that they usually ended up with ruined lives, a shadow of their former selves, wounded and weakened to a point where they can’t even hold a secure position on the curb of the sidewalk of life.

And if that weren’t enough, they are relegated to the ever-growing pile of degraded “has-beens” and “throwaways,” living in the gutter, on the sidelines, not suitable to participate in the REAL game of life. They’re used up . . . losers! Left with the dim and fading memories of “how it used to be.”

Now THIS is a contest that has some real challenge right? Something that would truly test ones abilities in a stimulating way, right?

Well, at least our guy thought so . . . and, what’s more, he even “appeared” to be winning the game, at least for a time.

THE TRAP: For it was a strange and unusual game that he had created, one with a very unpleasant, even malevolent twist in it.  The trap in this nefarious game was this: the deeper you got into this game, the more it “appeared” you were winning – the more you were actually LOSING!  How’s that for some genuine sport; a game with some teeth in it, right?

Sure, many can eventually become able to perform as an artist on the world stage . . . but try doing it while at the same time being strung out on drugs . . . now that’s an obstacle that presents some challenges!  Of course, there is a downside. The rest of his life is in ruins. He has wasted his friends, family, health and career . . . but he’s still winning, right?

THE SECRET: Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. The creative, able guy in our story finally figures out the secret that had eluded many other less fortunate players: the only way to win this “game” was not to play it in the first place.

Employing this realization, he makes some changes and goes happily on with his life mostly avoiding the serious consequences that have killed off so many other players in this game.

Effectively, he won by no longer playing the “game.”

Unfortunately, the fact that he created and played the game in the first place  (with the superficial apparency of winning) influenced others to follow in his footsteps.

And they – not being as creative or as able – weren’t able to figure out the secret of winning this game; they became stuck in the sticky, black tar of a life of drugs, degradation and loss.   But, that really had nothing to do with our guy right . . . or did it?

Eventually, the subject of our story, our happy little guy, began to realize that his actions did have consequences, his words did have meaning, and what he did for good or evil did influence others; a sobering but undeniable truth.  He realized that what he was doing was not just hurting himself, but it was hurting others . . . compounding the harm. It was indeed a painful awareness to come to, but it did open the door for a positive change.

THE AWARENESS: Before any change could occur, he had to come to the awareness that things are getting worse and they need to change - and only he could demand that something be done to bring this about.

Without that awareness, any announced desire to change will fail; for the truth is still camouflaged; carefully guarded underneath the blanket of denial.

Once the truth is faced, the layers of self-denial begin to peal off.  He realized that he didn’t mind hurting himself, but when found that he was hurting others, he detested himself even more.   He then solved that problem by numbing himself by whatever method, creating even more self-loathing – a deadly sequence.

The vicious circle of self-destruction began to unwind only when he gathered the willingness to face it head-on and cease the denial of what he intuitively knew was happening.

It was after all his life, for good or evil. Only when he came to grips with that fact was he able to plant his feet on the long road back to sanity, health and stability.

But, our story has not ended. It only has taken a turn, hopefully for the better at this point. But there are many pitfalls that lie ahead for our guy.

Bad habits die hard; dangerously “toxic friends” are lurking nearby; and the true friends that still remain have been burned too many times to trust him completely at this point. It’s a rough road. But it’s the only road out of the trap. Hopefully, he’s up for the challenge.

Armed with the increase in awareness that he is creating his own life and his own future, at each moment, for better or for worse; his chances for survival have increased; He might just make it after all.

His future will be what he is creating right now.  With the strength of that knowledge, at least he has a fighting chance to make it what he wants.

At least he has a chance of survival, when before, he had nothing.

Stay tuned as the rest of the story develops.

daniel w. jacobs
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